Japan Gay Bar Etiquette: How to Get it Right

Tobias Waters

So you’re here, in Japan — even better, you’re all set to go to Shinjuku Nichome, Japan’s beloved gayborhood! But hold on: you’ve learned to bow as a sign of gratitude or respect, but is there different etiquette you should know for drinking in a bar — especially in a gay bar?

Well, sure! Today, we’ll take you through the things you’ll need to know before you get your drink on in the Japanese capital of queer. We’ll explain what the different types of bars are, cover charges, photography rules, dress codes, and more! Not in Nichome? Well, while this advice does relate to JGG’s stomping ground, don’t worry: a lot of this will apply to Doyamacho in Osaka, or other gay bars across the country. Bottoms up!

Shot Bars, Mix Bars, and Snack Bars: What to Expect

首先要考虑的是您想去什么样的酒吧,主要有三种类型:射击酒吧、小吃酒吧和混合酒吧。

射击杆

Shot 酒吧的功能与国外的 LGBTQ+ 酒吧非常相似,因此深受来日本的外国游客和有海外酒吧经验的当地人的欢迎。通常不收门票,或者只收很少的门票,通常包括一两杯饮料,饮料随喝随付。虽然它们被称为 "烈酒酒吧",但并不只出售烈酒,通常还有啤酒、葡萄酒和软饮料供选择。

Although shot bars are small, some have space for dancing later in the evening. As such, they may play host to guest DJs. Check the social media of a bar that’s caught your eye: you could find an upcoming event that scratches your musical itch.

Shot bars may be segregated by gender or sexuality, and this distinction will often be posted at the door. On the other hand, you may come across a “mix bar.”

Mix Bars

Mix bars are similar to shot bars, but while they may have a focus on an LGBTQ+ clientele, they are welcoming of anyone, regardless of gender or sexuality. This welcoming atmosphere is great for people who are new to the scene, or if you’re out on the town in a group of people of mixed gender and different sexualities. King Tokyo and Kingdom are terrific examples of this type of mixed bar.

许多射击酒吧都是男女混杂的,但偶尔也会举办一些活动,或在一周中的某几天专门为某一特定性别或性取向的人提供服务。例如,正在举办脱衣舞之夜的同性恋酒吧可能不允许女性进入,因此值得在周五和周末事先查看您计划前往的酒吧的社交媒体。

Snack Bars

Snack bars are a little more traditionally Japanese in that they cater to regulars, and while they are initially expensive to attend, when used correctly, they can be a little cheaper. Snack bars will generally have a cover charge that will include a small dish of food, and single drinks are extra. The initial big expense at some snack bars (though not all) is that guests must buy a large bottle, usually of a hard spirit like shochu or whisky. However, this bottle is kept for the patron behind the bar when they leave, encouraging repeat visits, as you don’t need to pay for a new bottle until the old one is finished.

Bottles of whisky and shochu stored behind a Japanese bar with handwritten customer tags attached.
tabelog.com/osaka/A2701

由于小吃店不那么嘈杂,没有跳舞或喧闹的音乐,因此更注重交谈。因此,小吃店是你带现任或未来伴侣来的好地方。如果你是一个人来,被称为 "妈妈 "的主人通常会与你和其他客人交谈,让气氛活跃起来。此外,小吃店的 "妈妈 "打扮得花枝招展也是常有的事,这总是很有趣的。

Some snack bars, however, can be difficult for foreigners to access: they may have hosts who only speak Japanese, or could be invitation-only. So if a Japanese friend invites you, you should jump at the opportunity!

At any of these types of bars, entrance fees, any mandatory drink purchases, age or gender restrictions, and whether or not there is a special event can usually be checked either on social media or will be advertised outside of the bar. The same is true of the language ability of the staff: many places will have signs stating whether or not their staff speak English. If you’re not sure, ask someone familiar with the establishment, or pop inside to ask a staff member yourself.

Gay Bar Etiquette: Photos, Clothing, Drinks, and Tipping

Now that you know what kind of bar you want to visit, what do you need to know about spending time there? While gay bars in Japan are a place for LGBTQ+ folks to gather and have a good time, there are a couple of things to keep in mind.

One of the first things to note is that taking photos of bar interiors when many other customers are around can be frowned on. While you should check with staff first, taking selfies is usually fine, but be careful not to catch the face of a stranger: if the picture is posted to social media, it’s possible you could accidentally out someone. While gayborhoods like Nichome are naturally welcoming, outside of Tokyo’s queer capital society can be a little more conservative. Additionally, coming out isn’t as essential a part of Japanese queer culture as in some other countries, so be careful.

Hiro, a bartender at Dragon Men, also cautioned against getting too revealing.

“In many gay clubs in foreign countries, men take off their shirts when they go dancing. There are special bars with looser clothes requirements, but most shot bars don’t appreciate it when people start getting half-naked.”

Some events do encourage showing a little skin, though, so check the bar’s socials beforehand if you find the shackles of cloth a little too restricting.

Another hint, given by a former bartender at AiiRO Cafe, is to consider the differences in the tipping culture. In Japan, tipping is extremely rare: many Tokyoites can drink in bars, eat in restaurants, or travel in taxis for years without tipping once.

前任员工(现任普通员工)建议道、

但是,如果你是酒保的常客,你应该在点酒的时候请他喝一杯。这既礼貌,又能表达你的谢意,还能增进你们的友谊。即使他们拒绝了,被邀请也是件好事。

This isn’t a hard and fast rule — especially for visitors — but it is a polite gesture, and our friend at AiiRO’s suggestions are usually solid!

If you do manage to get your own bottle at a snack bar, the host will likely be pouring your drinks from the bottle for you. If you like, you can ask them if they want to pour one for themselves. Again, this isn’t strictly necessary, but it is a nice thing to ask.

Along those lines, the manager of Arty Farty, one of the oldest extant mixed bars in Nichome, makes it clear that some mixed and shot bars will expect clients to buy at least one drink if they want to enter.

“I know that in foreign countries, sometimes people come to gay bars, but they just use the bathroom, or talk with friends, without buying drinks. That’s considered very rude here. Since many bars don’t have a cover charge, you should at least buy one drink,” he says.

So, even if you’re only going in for a short visit, it’s polite to buy a drink. If you don’t drink and you’re just visiting with friends, don’t worry: buying a non-alcoholic drink is just as valid.

With that, you should be ready to party. Remember that these etiquette guidelines are just that, and aren’t hard-and-fast rules that can be applied across all of Japan. If you’re wondering where to start your night out in Nichome, why not check out our list of ten bars to visit while you’re here?

托比亚斯从事编辑和写作工作十余年,撰写过各种主题的文章,包括汽车、医学、旅游、美食美酒——他甚至还评测过日本第一款CBD啤酒!闲暇时,他喜欢看电影、玩电子游戏,以及去附近的公共澡堂泡澡。他总是滔滔不绝地谈论2008年金融危机对我们现代世界方方面面的影响。.
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