What Does Tomboy Lesbian Mean?
A tomboy is a girl or woman who has a traditionally masculine or androgynous haircut, clothing style, demeanor, and/or hobbies. For example, she may like soccer, skateboarding, and absolutely loathe wearing dresses.
This is a word most often used for little girls, but grown up women can use it too. Some girls grow out of it, some don’t. This word is sometimes used as a loose insult, but women have been reclaiming it as a prideful term!
Definition of Tomboy Lesbian
A tomboy lesbian is, as the name indicates, a tomboy who also happens to be a lesbian. This term can be used by a woman, or a femme- or even masc-identifying non-binary person.
Of course, not all tomboys are lesbian, or transgender. Cisgender, heterosexual women can be tomboys; although in practice, there are more lesbian than straight tomboys. In childhood, being a tomboy is a way to experience gender differently. A girl might wish to be a boy for some time; but this does not necessarily last until adulthood.
Tomboy Flag
The Tomboy flag, designed in 2017 by an unidentified artist, is a symbol of the tomboy community (and, by extension, the tomboy lesbian community). There are seven strips on the flag:
- Light pink: (from the transgender flag) represents the female gender
- White: (from the transgender flag) represent trans and non-binary tomboys
- Brown: (from the gay bear flag) represent boyish demeanor and hobbies
- Dark blue: (from the genderfluid flag) represent masculine looks
If you want to learn more about the various Pride flags, check out our article about them!
Notable Individuals who are Tomboy Lesbian
Tegan and Sara
This iconic, inseparable Canadian musical duo is composed of two twin sisters, Tegan and Sara Quin. They are both lesbians and have a tomboy aesthetic and demeanor. They began releasing music in the late 1990s. Both are married.
Ruby Rose
An Australian model and actress, Ruby Rose is generally most well-known for appearing in the American TV show Orange is the New Black, which features a variety of lesbian characters and actresses. She is also genderfluid, which her androgynous appearance shows.
Sue Perkins
Sue Perkins is an uber-famous British presenter and comedian. In recent years, she is probably most well-known for presenting the show British Bake-Off. She has jokingly said that “being a lesbian is only about the 47th most interesting thing about me”.
Megan Rapinoe
Megan Rapinoe is an American retired soccer star. Starting soccer at the age of just three, she has fed this passion her whole life. Although she is usually seen wearing a soccer jersey, Megan has a feminine tomboy appearance as a civil.
Samira Wiley
Another Orange is the New Black star, Samira Wiley is a proud lesbian. With her usually short hair, she represents the tomboy community. She sports feminine tomboy outfits, but fully alternates from dresses to suits. She got married in a beautiful white dress, and has a son.
Honorable mentions: Kristen Stewart, Hannah Gadsby, Tig Notaro, King Princess (Mikaela Straus), Julien Baker.
History of The Term “Tomboy”
History of “Tomboy”
The meaning of the word tomboy has changed a lot overtime. At the very beginning, it did not even designate a girl, but a “rude, boisterous or forward boy” as per the Oxford English dictionary of 1533. In 1570, the word changed to define the same thing, but for a girl; which had a very negative connotation. Finally, at the turn of the 17th century, the word came to be used for “a girl who behaves like a spirited or boisterous boy; a wild romping girl”, which is less negative.
Later on, the word came to be used during the Civil War, where women had to replace the works of men who were sent to the front. It also came in use during the suffragettes movement, as women who were asking for voting rights were considered tomboys. In second wave feminism, the word was used to designate the women rebelling against gender roles and gender inequality.
In the modern LGBTQ+ rights movement, “tomboy” came to be reclaimed by non-feminine lesbians and rid it of its negative meaning. In the modern world, “tomboy” is often used as an insult by children. Some heterosexual women do use this word for themselves, though.
Common Misconceptions of “Tomboy” and “Lesbian”
As previously mentioned, a tomboy girl will not necessarily grow into a lesbian and transgender man. Insulting a tomboy girl and calling her gay is deeply rooted in homophobia and sexism. We need to keep educating children about being accepting of everyone even if they are outside of the norm.
As well, a tomboy lesbian may not necessarily take the lead in a relationship (or in bed), even if they are dating a femme lesbian. Just like in a straight relationship, the “manlier” person also needs to be held, loved and cherished.
Types of Tomboys
The term “tomboy” is the most general, but there are sub-terms as well. Although they are archetypes and nothing specifically fixed, they are used in the community by some individuals.
Classic Tomboy
The classic tomboy is straight down the line. They are the archetype of the tomboy. Their wardrobe is mainly white shirts and khaki pants, and they like to accentuate with red lipstick. They love the arts (nooks, music, movies, going to the museum).
Butch Tomboy
The butch tomboy is extra masculine, and often mistaken for a man. People who are attracted to femmes have historically used the term and identity butch. Butch is also considered its very own gender by some people.
There exist many subcategories of butch, read our article about them!
Femme Tomboy
A femme tomboy is a more feminine version of a classic tomboy. They may vary their wardrobe from classic tomboy to more feminine outfits even down to a dress or skirt. A good example is the aforementioned Samira Wiley.
Androgynous Tomboy
An androgynous tomboy is one who loves to present androgynously and have people wonder about their gender. They love fashion and have a huge wardrobe. Androgynous tomboy icons are Tilda Swinton, Grace Jones, and Annie Lennox.
Hip-hop Tomboy
Popularized in 1990’s hip-hop culture, the hip-hop tomboy dresses in baggy clothes, sneakers, a cap, and gold chains. They love rap and hip-hop, skateboarding, and parkour. Icons (not lesbian) include Salt n Pepa, TLC, and Missy Elliot.
Alt/Goth Tomboy
The alt/goth tomboy is probably the most popular nowadays. They love rock music obviously, put a lot of time into their looks, and love reading. They probably are in a band of their own. Chances are they are bisexual.
Tomboy Lesbian Fashion
It’s important to keep in mind that tomboy lesbians can present themselves in any way they want, but this part deals with what is most usually seen in tomboy lesbian fashion.
Hair Styles
Most tomboy lesbians sport a short haircut: a pixie cut, a fade, or even a buzzcut. Some prefer a low-maintenance cut, while others pride themselves in styling their hair with wax or other products. Hair accessories are rather rare, but beanies are favored.
Outfits
A typical tomboy lesbian wears masculine or androgynous clothing that is usually more comfortable than fashionable. Tye-dye shirts, polos, Hawaian shirts, and flannels are popular. They will usually wear jeans, tight or large, sometimes ripped. A wide array of sneakers, slip-ons, and booties, make up their shoe closet. For big occasions, they may choose a suit over a dress. In winter, their wardrobe tends more toward the “outdoor” style.
In terms of accessories, a tomboy lesbian may feature one or a bunch of bracelets, and the same goes for necklaces. They usually have several holes in their ears on which they place studs, small rings, or cuffs.
Make-up
Tomboy lesbians usually prefer none or natural makeup. Maybe just fixing up their skin texture. Some wear a simple winged liner, while others may lean towards a more graphic liner. And you can’t forget the chapstick!
Common Fashion Brands
The trick for tomboy lesbians is that they want to wear men’s clothing, but it often doesn’t fit right. Therefore, they shop at specialized shops, or at big brands that have inclusive clothing down to XXS. One may also choose to thrift, for the planet, or simply because there is more choice.
For tops, everything goes: Uniqlo, H&M, Old Navy, Vans, American Eagle, Carhartt for flannels… The shirts are what varies the most in a tomboy lesbian’s outfit, so they aren’t so interested in the brand. Patagonia or The North Face are good brands for long-lasting winter coats.
Pants are the hardest piece to shop in the men’s section. Dovetail, Duluth, Wrangler, Carhartt Dickies are pretty popular, as well as the classic Levi’s. H&M is good too.
For underwear, they shop at TomboyX, Rightsocks, Woxer, or Culprit, which provide boy shorts and comfortable sports-style bras. For shoes, the staples are Vans, Converse, Doc Martens, and Timberland. For accessories, there are no particular brands that they like; smaller creators and local markets are preferred.
More Lesbian Terms You Need To Know
There are different ways that a lesbian may describe herself: femme, lipstick, tomboy, masc, butch, trans… Or none at all! There are so many specific labels and boxes that have been named throughout history, but some people tend to reject labels. Anything is fine!
Conclusion
A tomboy lesbian is a lesbian with traditionally masculine or androgynous style and behavior. More than a label, it’s a movement; subverting gender roles is a way to protest them, as women are still battling for equal rights.
However you identify, it’s always fascinating to learn more about the sub-labels that exist within the LGBTQ+ community. It’s incredible to think about the richness of our cultures that has been developing for centuries.
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