Way back in 2022, a lesbian friend of mine invited me out for a drink to introduce me to her new belle. We had a grand old time, but I was extremely confused when my friend showed me some pictures that they had taken and said, “I look like such a Hey Mamas!”
Well, a Hey Mamas lesbian is internet slang for a sapphic who adopts a stereotypical masc persona, which we might think of as being almost a parody of a ‘fuckboi.’ This can include skater fashion, exaggerated swagger, obvious (even aggressive) flirting, and posting thirst traps on social media. Sometimes the persona is played up as a joke; other times, the term is used to poke fun at people who genuinely act this way.
While the term doesn’t denote a novel subculture of lesbians in the same vein as, say, butch (and indeed is often used jokingly), it comes up enough that we want to take the time to go into detail for you. Hopefully, dear reader, by the end of this article you won’t be as clueless as I once was.
The “Hey Mamas” Stereotype
A Hey Mamas lesbian is someone who plays up, sometimes for comedic effect, very masculine stereotypes. These include both fashion choices and actions. Examples might include snapback baseball caps, baggy jeans, sneakers, a short (usually undercut or topknot) hairstyle, and interests like skateboarding. These are just examples, of course, and you don’t need to wear all, or indeed any, of these to be considered a Hey Mamas. Plus, despite being a take on masculine appearance and behavior, you don’t need to be a masc lesbian to be a Hey Mamas.
Other things associated with Hey Mamas are, of course, the hyper-flirty “Hey Mama” call itself, as well as lip-biting and exaggerated boyish ‘swag.’ You should know, though, that these are generally done online in a tongue-in-cheek manner.
Where Did “Hey Mamas” Come From?
Hey Mamas, as a term, was popularized on TikTok, one of the apps of all time. As such, Hey Mamas lesbians are sometimes also called “TikTok lesbians.”
In 2020, videos featuring masc lesbians posing for the camera to entice the viewer with boyishly seductive thirst traps while saying the now-iconic “Hey Mama” began to grow in popularity. The term first blew up when a now-deleted video of mostly white women playing up the Hey Mamas persona went viral.
From there, the term took off online. Women who either thought the persona was funny, or cool, or both, would post videos acting out the persona and life of an “authentic” Hey Mamas lesbian.
The term can be seen as a joke about kind of cringe sapphics, often younger, putting on a masculine swagger, or used as a form of self-deprecation among those who genuinely like dressing and acting in such a way.
Why Can the Term Be Controversial?
As mentioned, the term ‘Hey Mamas’ is often used in a tongue-in-cheek manner or can be used to critique lesbians who are earnestly putting on a fuck boi-esque persona. As such, it’s not typically considered a neutral description of someone in the first place.
Where some people take issue with the Hey Mamas performance, either seriously or in jest, is when part of that performance seems to be lifted from Black communities but is often performed by white women. For example, when African-American Vernacular English or Black and Brown aesthetics and mannerisms are used in TikToks and other Hey Mamas-related media, it can be seen as cultural appropriation.
These nuances also mean that it is not the done thing to use ‘Hey Mamas’ to describe stud lesbians, or indeed any other butch or masc lesbian, simply because of how they look or present themselves
To clarify that last point, there are differences between masc, butch, and stud lesbians, as well as how those terms can overlap with one another and with ‘Hey Mamas.’
Masc lesbians are, in brief, sapphic women who express themselves in masculine or masculine-leaning ways. This includes fashion choices, as well as styles of moving and even speaking. While we are discussing lesbians, people of other sexualities can present as masc.
Butch, on the other hand, is a more lesbian-specific term with a long history in lesbian communities. It generally refers to lesbians whose identity or presentation is strongly masculine. Historically, butch lesbians also played certain social roles in their communities. In the 1950s, when being queer was much more dangerous, butch lesbians played a role as protectors of local queer spots from police raids.
Stud lesbians are also masc lesbians, but the term is specific to the Black lesbian community. It should not be applied to non-Black masc lesbians. That said, not every masc-presenting Black lesbian identifies as a stud. It is more of a self-applied term, so it is best to wait until someone tells you that they use it rather than making assumptions based on their appearance.
Someone who is masc or butch might also jokingly adopt, or be described as having, the Hey Mamas persona. But Hey Mamas is not another identity category alongside masc, butch, or stud. And because stud is a culturally specific, self-applied term, it is especially important not to casually label Black lesbians “Hey Mamas” based on their appearance or mannerisms.
Now, if you’ll excuse us, we’ve got thirst traps to post and lips to bite. Bye Mamas!
Hey Mamas vs. Masc, Butch, and Stud
To clarify that last point, there are differences between masc, butch, and stud lesbians, as well as how those terms can overlap with one another and with ‘Hey Mamas.’
Masc lesbians are, in brief, sapphic women who express themselves in masculine or masculine-leaning ways. This includes fashion choices, as well as styles of moving and even speaking. While we are discussing lesbians, people of other sexualities can present as masc.
Butch, on the other hand, is a more lesbian-specific term with a long history in lesbian communities. It generally refers to lesbians whose identity or presentation is strongly masculine. Historically, butch lesbians also played certain social roles in their communities. In the 1950s, when being queer was much more dangerous, butch lesbians played a role as protectors of local queer spots from police raids.
Stud lesbians are also masc lesbians, but the term is specific to the Black lesbian community. It should not be applied to non-Black masc lesbians. That said, not every masc-presenting Black lesbian identifies as a stud. It is more of a self-applied term, so it is best to wait until someone tells you that they use it rather than making assumptions based on their appearance.
Someone who is masc or butch might also jokingly adopt, or be described as having, the Hey Mamas persona. But Hey Mamas is not another identity category alongside masc, butch, or stud. And because stud is a culturally specific, self-applied term, it is especially important not to casually label Black lesbians “Hey Mamas” based on their appearance or mannerisms.
Now, if you’ll excuse us, we’ve got thirst traps to post and lips to bite. Bye Mamas!
