When you think of a muscle bar, you probably think of it in the same way you do other themed bars. A kind of kitschy, campy, maybe slightly saucy place where fantasies can come true – for a price. In the same way that a maid cafe can help you fulfill your fantasies of being waited on by a cute girl in ruffles and a pinafore, or how in a host bar you can imagine a world where men are well-dressed and polite, so a muscle bar can let you indulge in a dream of seeing – and maybe even touching – rippling pecs and melon-like biceps. My first real visit to Club Blacknude was a little different, and in no way was this a bad thing.
Gay Muscle Bars in Tokyo: My Second First Impression
I’ve been to Club Blacknude before, briefly, to speak to the owner before opening time and to get some pictures. On that visit, the bar was empty, and the barman was shirtless. But my first visit as a paying patron, during the weeknight, was a little more subdued – at least at first, and at least only to the untrained eye.
I wandered in after a day at work, my feet barking and my whistle in need of wetting. Outside the door to the bar, a sign details the charge for entry, and everything that comes with it. For ¥2,500, you get a small otoshi snack, a free drink, a hot or cold towel, and a shot of tequila. But there’s more: all the karaoke you can sing.
Chilly Night, Warm Welcome
Walking through the door, the bartender, Takuma, greeted me with a hearty “irrashaimase”, and gave me an English language menu and explanation of what you can get for your entry. But there was more: in addition to a free tequila shot and drink, for an extra ¥3,000 you can partake in a sake nomihodai, sampling any or all of twelve different varieties of Japanese rice wine from all over the country. Ordinarily, I would jump at this chance, but alas I was visiting during the tenth month of the year, which for me means Sober October. I instead opted for a humble Cola, which Takuma was happy to serve, while also assisting another customer make his way through the sake menu, periodically refilling his glass ochoko sake cup.
Club Blacknude was, tonight, not explicitly a muscle bar. The more shirt-free experience is reserved for weekends, but make no mistake, you do not feel as though you’ve gotten the short shrift. Though Takuma wore a top, you could still see his muscular form bulging beneath it, with some top buttons straining to contain his taut chest. Sometimes, things are more interesting when left to the imagination.
A Touch of Class
One thing you’ll notice on your entry to the small and intimate bar is: this place is shiny, and classy. Most bars in Shinjuku’s Nichome gayborhood are clean and sanitary, but both times that I have been, I felt that maybe I’d accidentally wandered into an old-money gentleman’s club. Hell, the first time I came I felt underdressed, despite being engaged in a conversation with a man who was topless.
Though tonight the basement floor was closed, it’s a similar story down there. There are sparkling checkered floors, chandeliers, and fancy seating. I recall when I visited it that some bottles of whisky, kept behind the bar for regulars, was more expensive than two months of my rent. Upstairs, whisky is also available, along with shochu, beer, wine, and a selection of delicious-looking cocktails.
So how was my more laid-back experience? Very relaxing. Takuma was an engaging and spirited host, eager to talk to me and the other guest at the bar. As you can imagine, some of the questions were typical for a foreigner visiting a bar: where are you from, how long have you been in Japan, and so on. But we soon branched out into other topics, like what music we liked, and this segued very nicely into karaoke.
Sing It Out
While karaoke is a mainstay of Japanese entertainment, some bars that have it will charge per song, raking in cash as the businessmen slowly get stoned and feel the urge to bust out their best Billy Joel. At Club Blacknude, karaoke is unlimited and encouraged. After a warm up with ‘She’s Electric’ by Oasis, the three of us were taking turns passing around the microphone, serenading one another with melodies old and new.
After a time, I became embarrassed that I could not think of a new song to choose – Bonnie Tyler is great, but her ballads often go minutes without singing. I already did a Disney song, I can’t do another. Sensing my apprehension on choice, our gracious host offered to duet with me, taking one screen each of Sailor Moon’s ‘Moonlight Densetsu’, the first time I’d sung it in years; and he first time he’s sung it at all. After a brief discussion on the differences between anime music in the original Japanese and post-translation English versions, Takuma kindly sang his heart out in a rendition of Dragonball Z’s ‘Cha-La Head-Cha-La’, before my fellow barfly followed this up with ‘Cruel Angel’s Thesis’ from Neon Genesis Evangelion.
Not long after, I took my leave and, as he saw me off, I promised Takuma that I would sing ‘Cha-La Head-Cha-La’ next time. And there will be a next time: with friendly and welcoming staff, fellow drinkers eager to talk and sing, and seriously chill vibes, Club Blacknude is the perfect place for a quiet midweek drink, as well as having more man on display at the weekends for those of us who are truly thirsty.
Read this article for information about muscle bars in Japan.
