What Is a Femme Lesbian?
Femme Lesbian
A “femme lesbian” is a lesbian who adopts a traditionally feminine style and attitude. This means that she wears traditionally feminine clothing and accessories like dresses, jewelry, makeup etc., and may even carry herself in such a way that is “ladylike”, although this isn’t a requirement.
Femme Lesbian Flag
The femme lesbian flag, like many other pride flags created for people in specific sections of the LGBTQ+ community, is made to represent femme lesbians. It features a gradient of seven colored stripes, going from a vibrant purple all the way to a deep pink, with a white stripe in the center. Read our article on LGBTQ+ Flags.
More about lesbian flags
Notable Femme Lesbians
Hayley Kiyoko
Hayley Kiyoko is an American singer-songwriter who became famous for her various singles, which often talk about lesbian identity, such as her hit song Girls Like Girls. However, she is also talented in many other ways, having been a child actor and model, and having recently written a novel, also titled Girls Like Girls.
Niecy Nash
Niecy Nash is an acclaimed and prolific American actress who also identifies as a lesbian, and is married to a woman. She has appeared in various movies and TV shows such as Reno 911! and When They See Us, and has won an Emmy award, in addition to being nominated for five of them.
Peach PRC
Peach PRC is an Australian pop singer and TikTok influencer who also identifies as a lesbian. Her clothing, hair, and makeup often has a hyper-feminine style, and even sometimes takes on fantasy elements such as fairy wings and elf ears.
Kate McKinnon
Kate McKinnon may not be the first person you’d think of when you imagine a “femme lesbian”, since she doesn’t usually dress in a hyper-feminine style. However, she is a lesbian who sticks to the average “women’s fashion” type of style, even if it’s not particularly pink, fluffy, or sequined.
Having gotten her big break on Saturday Night Live, she’s a well-loved American comedian who’s performed not only on SNL but in various hit movies such as Barbie.
Ayaka Ichinose
Ayaka Ichinose is a Japanese model known for her risque photoshoots. She’s appeared in magazines and a few TV shows, as well as a collection of her own “image DVDs”, DVD’s containing a slideshow of still images, showing her in revealing outfits.
She became especially famous in 2014 for marrying acrobatic performer Akane Sugimori, whose Instagram you can check out here!
History of Femme Lesbians
History of the Term “Femme”
The term “femme” originally came from the French word of the same spelling meaning “woman”. However, it developed into a signifier for feminine-presenting lesbians, as a counterpart to the masculine lesbian term “butch”. However, some gay men and bisexual people also use the term to refer to themselves.
Types of Femme Lesbians
High Femme
“High femme” refers to someone who presents themself in an ultra-feminine way, often wearing dresses, makeup, and accessories in various shades of pink and purple. The term is mostly used to describe queer women, but can be used for anyone.
Hard Femme
A “hard femme” is a femme person who displays an edgy or even punk aesthetic in their femininity. They may have long hair, wear makeup, and even dresses, but also incorporate leather, spikes, patches, tattoos etc. into their look. The “hard femme” look is similar to an average goth or punk woman’s look, but has some variations.
Femme Top
According to Them.us, a “femme top” is “someone who ‘looks like a bottom but is a top.’” The term is often used among gay men, but can also be used among lesbians to mean a femme lesbian who takes an assertive role in intimate encounters, despite traditional gender roles telling her otherwise.
Stone Femme
The term “stone femme” has multiple meanings. The original meaning is a lesbian woman who doesn’t like her “private areas” touched during sex, but a more philosophical definition is that of a femme lesbian who, despite the gendered expectation for her to be passive and docile, is assertive and go-getting, forging her own path without the burden of unwanted criticism.
Femme Lesbian Fashion
Hair Style
As the name suggests, femme lesbians often style their hair to appear traditionally feminine. This often means long, flowy or wavy hair that can be dyed, styled with many products, or tied up in a half up, half down style. Of course, this is a generalization, but in my experience, it’s mostly how I’ve seen femme lesbians style their hair.
Outfit
Femme lesbians’ clothing tends to be what you’d typically think of when you imagine women’s fashion, but it can even be played up to the extreme, such as outfits made up of pinks and purples, with lacy, tulle, or flowing elements. Although not every femme lesbian dresses in a hyper-feminine way, this style can be seen on notable femme lesbians mentioned above like Peach PRC and Hayley Kiyoko.
Make-up
Femme lesbians tend to do their makeup in a “full glam” manner, with no aspect of the makeup routine forgotten. This can often mean flashy eyeshadow colors, bright-colored lipstick, blush etc. But, of course, it’s not like most femme lesbians wear this much makeup every day, but it may be the route that they go for special occasions.
Common Fashion Brands
There aren’t exactly common fashion brands that femme lesbians wear, since they just wear the same brands that any femme-presenting person would wear. However, I have noticed a trend of femme lesbians wearing “kawaii” brands or other pastel colored, hyper-feminine brands. So, e-commerce websites like YesStyle and brands like Vina of the Valley might be a good place to start if you want to emulate this look.
More Lesbian Terms You Need To Know
Do you want to know more about the various terms out there related to lesbian identity? If so, check out this article.
Conclusion
A “femme lesbian” can mean a wide variety of things, and refer to a wide variety of people. It’s not a cut and dried definition like some identities in the queer community.
Therefore, it’s easy to be confused as to whether or not you are one. In any case, it’s really up to you how you want to present, and what you want to call yourself. So I hope this article taught you a little bit more about the femme lesbian identity, whether you personally are one or not.