Understanding Hook-Up Culture in Japan
Japan still values a little bit of coyness when it comes to establishing relationships: people prefer to get to know a potential partner before dating. However, it is by no means the case that hook-ups do not happen. For LGBTQ+ people, especially gay men, there are a fair few options that one has, both in terms of apps, and places to go. So, let us take you through them!
Hooking Up in Japan as a Foreigner
One thing that you might be wondering about is: as a non-Japanese person, is hooking up easier, more difficult, or about the same as your homeland? Well, it can depend. For some Japanese people, it is true that a foreign partner can be a source of enthusiastic curiosity, or even seen as a status symbol.
Some Japanese people, however, will be aware that foreigners can tend to fetishize Japanese people. This means that, for a relationship, things might be a little tough. But for a hook up? You might find that it becomes relatively easier — though you will need to speak at least a little Japanese.
Even between foreigners, there can be a sense of camaraderie in finding one another, and the thrill of that can lead to a one-nighter. But be aware: the foreign community in Japan is small, and people tend to know one another: this goes double for the LGBTQ+ expat community.
Best Gay Hook-Up Apps in Japan (2025)
Well, we’re in the 2020s now, so I’m sure you’re familiar with at least a few dating apps. But as a reminder for anyone who is a little less sure of which apps are available in Japan, and what they offer, here are a few of our recommendations.
Tinder
source: Tinder
While not exclusively a gay dating app, Tinder remains one of the most widely used apps in Japan — and it’s LGBTQ+-inclusive. You’ll find many gay users in Tokyo, Osaka, and Fukuoka using it to find dates, especially among younger people and students.
Best for: Gay travelers and locals open to dating or making friends casually.
Grindr
Still one of the most widely used gay dating apps in Japan, Grindr connects locals and tourists instantly. You’ll find it buzzing in areas like Nichome, Doyama, and Nagoya’s Sakae district.
Best for: Travelers and expats looking for instant local connections or casual encounters.
9monsters (ナインモンスターズ)
Japan’s most popular gay dating app, 9monsters (or “9mon”) is specifically made for the Japanese gay community. It combines dating, social networking, and gaming elements, making it fun and unique.
Best for: Locals and visitors who want to meet Japanese gay men in a friendly, non-intimidating environment.
Heesay
Formerly known as “Blued,” this is a massive gay social app from Asia (especially popular in China and Southeast Asia), Heesay is also gaining traction in Japan. It’s known for being safer, inclusive, and community-driven.
Best for: International gay users living in or visiting Japan.
Jack’d
With over 15 million users, and the ability to hone in on exactly the sort of person you’re looking to hook-up with, Jack’d is very popular among LGBTQ+ people. It also lists nearby events, so if there’s something on, you’ll be able to find it easily!
Best for: People with a specific type of partner in mind.
Romeo
Also known as PlanetRomeo, this long-established gay dating platform still has a loyal following in Japan, especially among mature users and expats.
Best for: Those seeking serious connections or global LGBTQ+ community links.
Where Hook-Ups Happen in Japan
Apps seem to have been around for eternity… but if you can believe it, people have been hooking up for generations! So, where should you go if you want to do things the old fashioned way, and — urgh — talk to a fellow human being? Well, there are plenty of places for queer folks! Here are just a few.
Shinjuku Ni-chome
The uncontested home of LGBTQ+ life in Japan, this is arguably the biggest gayborhood in Asia. As such, you’ll be bound to find someone who takes your fancy in one of the 300+ LGBTQ+ bars. There are bars for GMPD people, bars for those who like things on the wild side, and places for regular, chilled out conversations.
24 Kaikan Shinjuku
Now we’re talking hook-ups. The flagship of a small chain of men-only sauna, this is the cruising spot to end all cruising spots. With over six floors of delights, from the sensual to the sadistic, this is the perfect place for anyone who wants to get a little dirty before they get squeaky clean.
Doyama
Osaka’s answer to Nichome, this is the queer hub for Japan’s second city. There are a ton of bars and clubs you can visit, and while it may not be as big as in Tokyo, Osaka also offers a lot of options for the voracious visitor or lovelorn local.
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Japan’s Gay Hook-Up Culture: Discreet Yet Thriving
Japan is still somewhat conservative when it comes to sexuality: if you meet a colleague in a gay bar, or find them on an app, it is best not to mention it to anyone without their consent. However, with this in mind, you can find that the Japanese gay scene can be as open and welcoming as any other, and the same goes for hook-ups.
How to Hook Up in Japan Respectfully
Even if you are on the prowl, remember that there are unwritten rules here that apply just as much as anywhere else. For the most part, these are common sense. However, for the sake of those whose sense is somewhat rarer, we’ll go over them here:
- Start on apps — they’re safer and are culturally appropriate.
- Be curious, not pushy — small talk before flirting is always wise.
- Use “love hotels” for a quick night — they are affordable, clean, and designed for privacy. Beware that some outside of major areas may not accept two people of the same gender.
- Avoid assumptions — not everyone on apps is looking for sex.
- Enjoy the culture — hook-ups here could lead to real connection and even a relationship, so be open-minded!
That’s more or less all there is to it. Whether you’re just feeling curious, or have a lust that needs to be slaked, trying out Japan’s hook-up culture can be a lot of fun. Just remember to stay safe, stay sane, and stay cool!
